Monday, October 31, 2011

First Aid on the Golf Course

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning.

The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in obvious agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain
if you'd allow me," she told him earnestly.

"Ummph, oooh, noooo... I'll be fine in a few minutes", he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.

But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side,
she loosened his pants, and put her hands inside. She began to massage his privates.

She then asked him, "How does that feel?"

He replied still in agony, "It feels great, but it doesn't do a thing for my thumb. It still hurts like hell!"

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Ways to cure a headache

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your te*ti*les to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the te*ti*les."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store & thought, "That's what I need - a new suit."

He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve & 16-1/2 neck." Again, Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see ... 9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."

Joe laughed. "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 underwear would press your te*ti*les up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

What Women love To See In A Man

It’s not just about being tall, dark and handsome. There are certain ‘manly’ qualities about guys that can make any woman go weak in her knees. And while you may think it’s all about the looks, guess what? There’s more. It’s a potent mix of both, physical attributes and of course, that all important emotional touch. Here, we tell you about six points you need to heed.

Well groomed
Yes, we said tall but the reality is that height is really not as important a factor as how you present yourself. Just like guys like a women who is well turned out, women too dig guys who ensure that they are perfectly groomed a la Leonardo DiCaprio. The basic funda women believe in is that if you are careful enough to take care of yourself, they can trust you to take care of them. So, remember guys, sloppy dressing, uncombed hair, dirty nails, smelly socks, stained shirts or jeans and the likes are an absolute no-no when you are trying to make that all important impression on someone from the opposite sex.

A sense of style
Women would rather have you splurging on them than on obscenely priced designer wear. So, even if it’s a typical roadside purchase that you swear by, make sure you adopt a certain classy and stylised look and maintain it. Women don’t really expect you to be a picture copy of a Pierce Brosnan or a David Beckham, but trying to imitate their style will surely up your popularity quotient. Keep yourself updated on the latest trends. Also, just as you have your reservations against the ‘nun-type’ dressers, women too hesitate when it comes to the boring office type dresser.

Laugh it out
One of the most important trait that woman dig is a sense of humour. Women have more than enough problems to deal with and don’t really need the company of another equally depressed soul. Yes, you have your bad days, but it does go a long way if you have a good sense of humour, and clean humour at that. Beware, taking a dig at others and constantly putting others down do not really spell fun for women. And we can’t tell you enough how much women love people who can laugh at themselves and their own mistakes.

Show them you care
Women need to be constantly reassured that they are loved and cared for. Acts like holding their hand while walking down the road, watching the sunset, an occasional hug and peck on the cheeks and making sure that they cross the road safely mean that you are proud to be seen with them and care for them. Remember, not displaying your affection openly is a sign that you are ashamed of who you are with. However, beware of being crass while displaying you affections.

A sexy smile/wink
There’s a reason why women absolutely adore Richard Gere or Hugh Jackman and it has a lot to do with the way that they smile or that glint in their eyes. Believe us when we tell you that if you look at them and smile like that, it does make them feel very special, like they are one in a million.

Be calm
Woman are known to be harrowed and frenzied. Yes, they do tend to get hyper very easily and that is the precise reason why you need to be the calming factor in their lives. It really doesn’t help if you too get stressed out or fly off the handle at any and every incident. Your sex appeal lies as much in your looks as it does in your attitude – women dig guys with a cool and peaceful attitude, the one who is able to calm them down and reassure them that all is well.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Taxi Drivers

A woman and her ten-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Montreal.
It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under the awnings.

"Mom" said the boy "what are all those women doing?"

"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work" she replied.

The taxi driver turns around and says "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth?
They're hookers, boy - they have sex with men for money...."

The little boy's eyes get wide and he says "Is that true Mom?"

His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers in the affirmative.

After a few minutes, the kid asks "Mom, what happens to the babies those women have?"

"Most of them become taxi drivers" she said.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Ordering from the Catalog

Santa and Banta were looking at a catalog and admiring the models.

Santa says to the Banta, "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?"

Banta replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!"

Santa says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one."

Banta smiles and pats him on the back, "Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too."

Three weeks later, Banta asks Santa, "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the catalog?"

Santa replies, "No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!"

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Walking is Especially Beneficial

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing.

The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial.

.And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"

The room really got quiet.

Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

"Yes?" replied the teacher.

"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Be Kind to Drunks

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's bloody pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!

"God loves drunk people too you know."
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Charity Raffle Prize

Harry and Earl were in the local bar enjoying a beer when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop.

The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize. Earl won 1st prize, a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long spaghetti.
Harry won 6th prize, a toilet brush.

About a week or so had passed when the men met back in the neighborhood bar for a couple of beers.

Harry asked Earl how he liked his prize, to which Earl replied, "Great, I love spaghetti! How about you, how's that toilet brush?"

"Not so good," replied Harry , "I reckon I'm going to go back to paper."

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Smartness Vs Intelligence

Einstein and Banta are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

Einstein says, "Let's play a game. I will ask you a question. If you don't know the answer, you pay me only $ 5 and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

Einstein asks the first question: What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?

Banta doesn't say a word, reaches his pocket and pulls out a $ 5.

Now, it's Banta's turn. He asks Einstein, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down on 4 legs?"

Einstein searches the net and asks all his smart friends. After an hour, he gives Banta $500.

Einstein going nuts and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"

Banta reaches his pocket and gives Einstein $ 5.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Computer Tech Support

"Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Mm. So what does your screen look like now?"



"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

[OUCHh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.]
"Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.]
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

[Ahoy--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem.
I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her monitor's power plug.]
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a
little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the powercord
goes into it. Can you see that?"

[sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] "Yes, I think so."

"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the

[pause] "Yes, it is."

[Mm. Well, that's interesting. I doubt s/he would have accidentally turned
it off, and I don't want to send him/her hunting for the power switch
because I don't know what kind of monitor s/he has and it's bound to have
more than one switch on it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.]
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables
plugged into the back of it, not just one?"


"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other

[muffled] "Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
your computer."

[still muffled] "I can't reach."

"UHF hub. Well, can you see if it is?" [clear again] "No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-- it's because it's


"Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power--??? " ...[AAAAAAAAAARGH!]

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Boss's Pet and Favoritism

Favoritism is a human trait found in many relationships, e.g.,
parent-children, teacher-students. As long as there are two
persons we have to interact with, it is in our nature to compare
and favor one over the other. CEOs, employers, bosses and
managers who deny that they have pet employees are
deceiving themselves. They should accept that they have, but
be skillful enough to manage the feelings and expectations of
the staff.

The Dog and the Wolf

A gaunt Wolf was almost dead with hunger when he happened to
meet a House-dog who was passing by. "Ah, Cousin," said the

"I knew how it would be; your irregular life will soon be the ruin
of you. Why do you not work steadily as I do, and get your food
regularly given to you?"

"I would have no objection," said the Wolf, "if I could only get a

"I will easily arrange that for you," said the Dog; "come with me
to my master and you shall share my work."

So the Wolf and the Dog went towards the town together. On the
way there the Wolf noticed that the hair on a certain part of the
Dog's neck was very much worn away, so he asked him how that
had come about.

"Oh, it is nothing," said the Dog. "That is only the place where
the collar is put on at night to keep me chained up; it chafes a bit,
but one soon gets used to it."

"Is that all?" said the Wolf. "Then good-bye to you, Master Dog."


Better starve free than be a fat slave.
There is nothing worth so much as liberty.

Lessons in life:

Like the house-dog, there are staff in the office who are happy
to tag along with their bosses, do whatever they are instructed
to, and have no problems being labeled as the bosses' pets.
Perhaps, they decided that they would rather be slaves than
have their family and children starve. In the opposing camp are
those who refuse to 'suck-up' to the bosses, keep their
relationship at a purely professional level, and are vocal on
issues concerning equal rights and fair treatment.

A boss will not want to keep too many pets by his side. The vast
majority of the employees who do not enjoy this master-pet
relationship are likely to despise these pets, speak ill of them,
be uncooperative, gang up against them, and generally do
anything to make the boss disown the pets. Office morale and
productivity are likely to suffer as a result of this continuing
power play and manipulative activities. Those who have no
resolve to fight a losing battle will switch their attention to
learning the doggy tricks so that they too can become pets.
The workplace is thus transformed into a pet breeding ground.

Here, we share with you what we like about the pet employees
we had worked with. Whether you are hoping to become one,
or trying to spot one, this list should trigger some thoughts.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Really Difficult When Drunk

Things That Are Difficult To Say When You're Drunk

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

Things That Are Very Difficult To Say When You're Drunk

1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

Things That Are Downright Impossible To Say When You're Drunk

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to piss in this parking lot or on the road side.
10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.

Monday, October 17, 2011

How to increase broadband connection speed

Step #1 - Identify the IRQ used by the NIC/USB modem

Follow these steps:

1.Open the System Information tool by running MSINFO32.EXE from the Run command.

2.Expand System Summary > Hardware Resources > IRQs.

3.Look for the listing made for your NIC (in my case - a Intel(R) PRO/100+ Management Adapter). Note the IRQ next to the specified line (in my case - IRQ21).

In case of USB modems you will first need to find the right USB device used by your modem. Follow these steps:

1.Open the Device Manager tool by running DEVMGMT.MSC from the Run command (or by right-clicking My Computer > Hardware tab > Device Manager button).

2.Scroll down to Universal Serial Bus controllers and expand it.

3.Right-click the USB Root Hub and select Properties. Note that you might need to do so for all listed USB Root hubs (if there are more than one) in order to find the right one.

4.In the Power tab, look for your USB ADSL modem.

5.In the Resources tab look for the assigned IRQ (in this case - IRQ21).

6.This is the IRQ we're looking for.

Lamer note: IRQs and modem names might vary...

Step #2 - Modify the system.ini file

Follow these steps:

1.Run SYSEDIT.EXE from the Run command.

2.Expand the system.ini file window.

3.Scroll down almost to the end of the file till you find a line called [386enh].

4.Press Enter to make one blank line, and in that line type


where X is the designated IRQ number we found in step #1, in my case it's IRQ21.

Note: This line IS CASE SENSITIVE!!!

5.Click on the File menu, then choose Save.

6.Close SYSEDIT and reboot your computer.

Done. Speed improvement will be noticed after the computer reboots

Sunday, October 16, 2011


You can exercise a few times a day and even though your body will be in better shape, you may not lose any weight. The reason is because of poor eating habits. Simple dieting can work wonders in your fight to shed unwanted pounds. If you find yourself getting snacks from the vending machine at work, stop it! You can snack all day long and lose weight and professionals dietitians recommend that you eat every couple of hours. You should make your own blend of healthy snacks to take with you. These snacks can include raw or steamed vegetables, sugar-free yogurt, fruits and you can even snack on sugar-free chocolate.
Dieting - The Best Thing You Can Do

Indeed, dieting is the best thing you can do to keep those unwanted pounds off. Even if you exercise while sitting down, you should diet...

Soda's Good For Energy, Bad Other-Wise

Diet soda's good to give you a quick pep up when you are feeling tired. You can drink a couple of diet sodas a day and be okay as long as you are flushing your body regularly with water. The caffeine is great for helping you lose weight by giving you that boost you need.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Five Important Qualities

1. It’s important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It’s important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It’s important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.
4. It’s important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Effective Delegation of Work

   Effective managers and leaders know that they can climb greater
heights and achieve remarkable goals only if they delegate work
to the good, able and talented people around them. The logic is
simple – if they are able to rope in more brains and bodies to do
the tasks, they are able to get more things done within the same
time frame. Having these tasks out of the managers' hands will
free up their time and allow them to concentrate on value-added
jobs which befit their status and qualifications. The ability to
delegate work is therefore a vital asset that all good leaders and
managers should have. Other than time management, effective
delegation of work may take the pressure off work stress and
substantially improve the work life.

As we shall discuss, delegation is not about farming out work and
forgetting about it altogether. For the delegation of work to be
effective and to result in win-win situations, there are certain
myths worth clarifying.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Never Scrub the Bathroom Anymore

One of everyone"s least favorite chores is cleaning the bath-
room. You put it off ... and put it off... until it takes
nothing short of an atomic bomb to get it clean. It doesn"t
have to be that way.

4 steps, about 2-3 minutes a day- and you will never have to
deal with soap scum build up or scrubbing the bathroom ever

The tools you will need-

* a shower squeegee
* paper towels
* glass cleaner
* Scrub Free

These should be kept in the bathroom. Splurge on the extra
bottle of glass cleaner and an extra roll of paper towels to
keep in the bathroom.

Here are the 4 steps-

1. When you get out of the shower, after you have dried off
and put on your lotion and such... do a once over on the
shower walls with the squeegee.

2. Take 2 pieces of paper towel and clean in this order-
mirror, counters, quick wipe over towel bars, chrome in
shower, and toilet lip. Throw paper towel away.

3. Do one of these chores each day or two-

* Spray tub with scrub free and do a quick wipe down with
wet rag or sponge, or
* Clean the toilet, or
* Do a quick wipe up of the floor, or
* Do a quick cleaning on your shower doors, if you have
them, or if you have shower curtains- spray any spots
with Clorox Cleanup.

Each of these only take seconds if you don"t let it get
bad in the first place.

4. Watch for any mold, or discoloring of the grout.
Spray with Clorox Cleanup and just let it work.

That"s it. Your bathroom will always look terrific, and
it"ll be a lot healthier too.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Draw the bedroom curtains

Paddy met Mick in the street and said, 'Paddy, in future you should draw your bedroom curtains before making love to your wife !'

'Why?' Paddy asked.

'Because,' said Mick, 'all the street was sniggering when they saw you two making love yesterday.'

Mick said, 'Nosey buggers, well then, the laugh's on them. I wasn't home yesterday.'

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Adgitize Payment

This is my 16th adgitize payment. Please join me in earning money online through Adgitize.

Adgitize your web site.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

The Curse of Silence

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter writing or sign language.)

One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say "my darling". But at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).

But at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.

Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily, "My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"

And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said: "Pardon?"

Friday, October 7, 2011

My Work Graph

See the difference of my work before and as of present time. I made this to show that a good leader have a good follower. My boss before is a good leader what he said is always done, it just come that management can't control him. My boss today is not as good as my first boss, that is why many of us also not follow him.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Steeve Jobs

Steven Paul "Steve" Jobs (February 24, 1955 – October 5, 2011) was an American computer entrepreneur and inventor. He was co-founder, chairman, and chief executive officer of Apple Inc. Jobs also previously served as chief executive of Pixar Animation Studios; he became a member of the board of directors of The Walt Disney Company in 2006, following the acquisition of Pixar by Disney. He was credited in Toy Story (1995) as an executive producer.

In the late 1970s, Jobs—along with Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak, Mike Markkula and others—designed, developed, and marketed one of the first commercially successful lines of personal computers, the Apple II series. In the early 1980s, Jobs was among the first to see the commercial potential of Xerox PARC's mouse-driven graphical user interface, which led to the creation of the Macintosh. After losing a power struggle with the board of directors in 1985, Jobs resigned from Apple and founded NeXT, a computer platform development company specializing in the higher-education and business markets. Apple's subsequent 1996 buyout of NeXT brought Jobs back to the company he co-founded, and he served as its CEO from 1997 until August 2011.

In 1986, he acquired the computer graphics division of Lucasfilm Ltd, which was spun off as Pixar Animation Studios. He remained CEO and majority shareholder at 50.1 percent until its acquisition by The Walt Disney Company in 2006. Consequently Jobs became Disney's largest individual shareholder at 7 percent and a member of Disney's Board of Directors. On August 24, 2011, Jobs announced his resignation from his role as Apple's CEO. On October 5, 2011, Jobs died in California at age 56, seven years after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

At the time of his resignation, and again after his death, he was widely described as a visionary, pioneer and genius - perhaps one of the foremost - in the field of business,innovation,and product design,[25] and a man who had "profoundly" changed the face of the modern world, revolutionized at least six different industries, and an "exemplar for all chief executives". His death was widely mourned and considered a loss to the world by commentators across the globe.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Online Storage

I found this free online storage 

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

How to Choose the Right Person for the Job

Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed room with an open window,Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation

If they are counting the Bricks,Put them in the accounts Department.

If they are recounting them....Put them in auditing .

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks,thenPut them in engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order,Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the Bricks at each other,Put them in operations .

If they are sleeping,Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks Into pieces,Put them in information technology.

If they are sitting idle,Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has
Been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day,Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the Window,Put them on strategic Planning.

And then last but not least......If they are talking to each other and not a single brick Has been Moved.

Congratulate them and put them In top management

Monday, October 3, 2011

Sex With EX can be Dangerous

It wouldn't be inappropriate to say that physical intimacy is a binding factor in a relationship. In fact, the emotional and physical aspects are almost intangible, which is why, when two individuals decide to part ways, the situation is shattering for both. Two possible circumstances measure up here – a consensual break-up, the decision for which is usually a practical one or a painfully heartbreaking affair for either the boy or the girl, whosoever did not expect the blow. The reasons for break-up may vary but the embers of passion remain in all hearts, veiled and often disregarded as "past is past". So what happens when these embers turn into sparks again?

The sex was great!

Some relationships blossom at the sheer thrill of sex. Emotional bonding is usually absent in these cases and the futileness of continuing the relationship is realized sooner or later. But the passionate encounters are simply hard to forget and the craving exists. For 25-year-old Pooja, a flight attendant, sex was the most exciting part of her 5-year long relationship. Says she, "More than anything, I miss the sex. It was the only thing that connected us because otherwise there was nothing in common between us." When asked if she would consider getting back with her ex for the sake of sex only, she replied in affirmative. "There was hardly any emotional connection and I think it would be fun to experience the amazing feeling once again" she said.

A bitter break-up

The thought of a sexual encounter with an ex-lover is a sore spot for many men. Unlike women, they are not quite comfortable at the thought of backtracking into the boulevards of their turbulent past. Even if the general perception about them is that they treat sex far more casually than women, their hesitation manifests loud and clear when confronted with their ex-affairs. 26-year-old Manish, a sports journalist says, "A break-up is always bitter and hurtful. When two people decide to end the relationship, there's no question of getting back together, be it for sex or anything." Of course, there are others who do not concur with this attitude. However, there are those that make no bones about enjoying sex with ex for old times' sake. "If my ex is comfortable with the 'no strings attached' idea, then I am in", says 22-year-old Rahul, an MBA student.

Love's labour regained

The emotional bonding and physical intimacy are two sides of the same coin and a sudden or planned sexual encounter with an ex can sprout hopes of reviving the lost love. A slight nudge on the arm or a soft kiss can do wonders. 27-year-old Neha, a software professional, agrees. "My boyfriend and I weren't seeing anyone for a long time post the break-up. Recently we met at a common friend's party, got drunk and made out. Since then our love has found a new meaning and has grown manifold. It has actually healed the differences and brought us closer."

Inhibitions galore

While it may seem a somewhat acceptable trend, having sex with an ex-lover certainly does not go down well with the ones who've endured a hurtful break-up. Their inhibition and inability to divulge their vulnerability to a new person prevents them from falling in love once again. Subsequently, it lures them to believe that such an encounter might recreate the magic of unrequited love.

Expert's take

Dr Deepak Raheja, senior psychiatrist & psychotherapist feels that such temptations primarily emanate from insecurity. The biggest fear of urbanization is loneliness and hence people fear abandonment. Another reason could simply be 'kink'. Monotony could lead to an urge to re-explore the sparks of the past relationship. And how does it affect the people involved? "It depends on the intensity of the present relationship. Complications are bound to occur – comparisons of the past with the present, guilt of cheating on your partner which escorts ambivalence." He sums it up by saying, "If you play with fire, you will burn your hands. So either be very careful or avoid it because it's difficult to rekindle the past."

The world seems to agree as well as disagree, and the perspectives are, without a doubt, subjective. While some chicken out at the thought of an intimate encounter without wanting anymore emotional turmoil, others start the game on a clean slate. This decision to run the risk of stroking the dormant feelings is indeed a tricky one and its fairness depends exclusively on the situation one is in. Staying in touch with your ex means no harm and meeting up over a coffee occasionally is fine too. Make sure you don't end up jeopardizing your mental peace at the cost of a one-time temptation and you're good to go.

"Only by acceptance of the past, can you alter it" – T S Eliot.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

The Sleepless Dog

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.

He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head. He then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour.

This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home, with my non stop chatting and nagging wife, he's trying to catch up on his sleep. .....Can I come with him tomorrow?

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Incentria Payment

My first payment from

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