Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Tricks To Get Him Out of His Shell

Not all men are bold, or the kinds who can show the world they're macho. There are some men who are naturally shy and prefer being reserved. And some women tend to fall for exactly these men, solely because they're charming and never take that extra step to pretend being what they are not. But hold on, dating a shy man is not as easy as it looks like.

Considering their nature, it just might be extremely tough for shy guys to talk about their likes and dislikes or even for that matter, about intimate topics which are natural in a relationship. It needs extreme patience and understanding to deal with a shy man in a relationship. But, all's not a lost cause ladies, there are ways in which you can make your shy guy feel comfortable without making it overtly obvious that you're trying to get him out of his shell and become an integral part of both, your world and the relationship.

Be the initiator:
Since your man is shy, he just might not be the one to initiate a conversation, talk intimate or even kiss you unexpectedly. Hence, the onus lies on you. Be confident and initiate the kind of talk or action that you feel is relevant to your relationship. Keep up the effort and in some time, he will also get into the groove of things and start initiating all this by himself.

Tell him even if he doesn't ask:
If it's your first date and he's the shy type, he might not be the kind who'll ask you questions like about yourself. Hence, your best option is to just go ahead and do the honours yourself. But don't dish out all the dope on the first date itself, it may just make you seem desperate. Spread it out evenly over various dates. As you talk about yourself, get him to talk about himself on the same topics. You'll see how, in a while, he'll be very comfortable reversing roles.

Be considerate:
If his shyness makes him feel uncomfortable in large crowds, choose less crowded places for the initial date. Go to small cafes and restaurants that you know will not be overcrowded and try and avoid places like malls, theatres, pubs or shopping arenas. After a few dates, you can attempt to take him out with a group of friends, but not unless he is comfortable. When you both are out with friends, make sure that he knows at least two people in the group, so it's easy for him to communicate and open-up and he won't feel left out.

Be calm:
Don't let his shy nature irritate you and ruin your dates. Instead accept him for who he is. Don't get overexcited or react violently if he doesn't show the same enthusiasm as you do for certain things. Remember, he is shy by nature and this kind of behaviour will undoubtedly make him uncomfortable. Your main aim should be to gel with him, not scare him away. Also, try to be enthusiastic about his favourite things even if they bore you to death.

Stick to the right kind of questions:
While talking to him, never ask questions that need monosyllabic answers like 'yes' or 'no', your conversation will be nothing less than dialogues of a slow and boring movie. Instead, ask him subjective or open ended questions. This is an easy trick to get him to start talking.

There are many men out there who are shy and it's difficult for them to get talking. But that doesn't make them any different. If you are lucky and strike the right chord, you might just be in for a beautiful relationship with a gem of a man. But the trick of the trade is to know how to get your man to leave his shell and get into the comfort zone for good.


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